《時間的旅人》

讀張曼娟的《時間的旅人》，被她溫婉細膩的文字溶化。

我最喜歡這段：

「人生其實是一片莽葛交纏的道路，粗糙多刺，令我們傷痕累累，然而，在那雜草叢生之處綻放的美麗事物，往往使我們忘卻了創痛與焦煩，憂慮和疲憊。哪怕只是被遺忘了的一朵小花，注視著它，便覺得今生再無追求，也無遺憾。」

我們都是時間的旅人，在每一個人生階段旅行，在每一片回憶的風光裡努力修補自己。

若是旅人，就抱著遊歷的心態，曾經的顫慄、疼痛、悲傷及憂愁都會過去，那只是旅程的一部分。
若是旅人，便以觀賞的心，去欣賞生命中每一美事，將快樂、喜悅、興奮栽種到回億中，讓它們成長，延伸出更多的美好。

愛，其實我們都看反了。

人在獨處的時候，會變得侷促不安，好像少掉什麼似的。現在要做些什麼好？打電話給誰，還是出去走走，那要找誰呢？找他要去哪裡？去逛街、看電影或是去串門子：：每個人都在逃避自己，人們稱這種逃避為「找樂子」。

因為當我們獨自一個人，你就必須面對自己的真相，你會發現自己竟是如此空虛、無趣、孤寂、悲慘、焦躁不安，如此的不快樂。所以，你想找個伴，你需要有人陪。總知就是不要自己孤孤單單。

人們需要別人，其實是害怕面對自己。和別人的關係只不過是為了逃離自己，那不是真正的關係，那就是為什麼兩性關係會有那麼多不快樂。想一想，兩個人在各自獨處都不快樂的人，如果合在一起，會變得快樂嗎？如果你很無趣，你的另一半也很無趣，兩個人在一起會有趣嗎？那是不可能的。

所以，當兩人在一起，就會有許多痛苦和問題產生。事實上，愛情和婚姻並不是引起痛苦或問題的原因，它只是把已深藏的痛苦與問題顯現出來罷了。

兩個有問題的人湊在一起，只會製造更多的問題，那是一定的。然而，當我們涉入別人的問題，可以忘了自己的問題，因此伴侶們總試圖找出對方的問題。你的困擾是因為他，而他的煩惱是因為你，然後彼此都覺得不滿和厭煩，但厭煩歸厭煩，卻仍相互依存著。

人們害怕分離，說穿了也是害怕面對自己。當你所愛的人離開你，你感到難過，但你曾想過嗎？你是因他的離去而難過，還是在為你自己而難過？事實上，你很可能是在為自己難過，因為當他離去時，你就必須孤獨的面對自己，對嗎？

如果你的歡樂來自別人，當那個人離開，歡樂也被帶走，所以每個人對所愛都非常「執著」。越感覺到自我不完整的人，就越容易產生痴情狂愛，對感情也越執著。因為執著就是逃避，執著工作，就是用工作逃避；執著喝酒，就是用酒精逃避；執著某人，就是利用那個人來逃避自己。執著並不是愛。

真正的愛是在你不需要另一個人的時候，真愛才發生。也就是說，在你完全的滿足於自己，不必依賴別人，愛才有可能發生。假若你對別人有所需求，你害怕自己孤零零，那你所謂的愛，只不過是逃避自己的伎倆。

如果你能欣賞自己，在自己身上發現喜悅，就不用靠別人來取悅你。
如果你對自己滿意，不需要別人來滿足你，你對別人就不會有那麼多不満。
如果你能單獨和自己在一起，並對自己感到歡樂，你的歡樂就沒有人帶得走。
如果你願意面對自己，那麼當別人離去時，你不會失去自己，你反而找到自己。

－－－《愛，其實我們都看反了》

再說1Q84

雖然結局有點爛尾收場，而且很搵笨，可是我還是很喜歡。雖然困難重重，但只要有強烈的意念及無比的勇氣，故事還是會把你們拉近。現實不可能發生的事，在小說裡卻得以成全。對於青豆與天吾，其實甚麼是little people甚麼是mother甚麼是daughter通通都不重要，重要的是，我要找到你。如果從他們的角度看，這樣的結局很完美。

為了成全他們。

1Q84來到book 3故事還是停滯不前，想要的答案通通沒有，反而帶來更多問號。而我卻希望故事在這裡完結。

有何不可呢？就像《傾城之戀》中白流穌與范柳原的愛情。為了成全他們，香港陷落了，整個大都市都傾覆了。同樣，為著天吾與青豆的重逢與結合，1Q84與little people才會存會。一切都為了成全他們。

青豆也曾說：「我不是被誰的意思所捲入，不情願地被送往這裡的被動存在。」縱使領導曾說，只天吾存活，青豆必須犧牲。但有時我們還是要相信自己。「不要被外表騙了。所謂的現實經常只有一個。」人生有很多重要時刻，都是因循個人決定與意願而進行。要怎樣才可順心而行，不受他人影響呢？還是人真的無法為自己再生，要為別人才行？

「心裡只要喜歡誰，人生就有救了，就算不能跟那個人在一起」？

是這樣嗎？

That's my most favourite chapter, ever.

It was then that the fox appeared.

"Good morning," said the fox.

"Good morning," the little prince responded politely, although when he turned around he saw nothing.

"I am right here," the voice said, "under the apple tree."

"Who are you?" asked the little prince, and added, "You are very pretty to look at."

"I am a fox," the fox said.

"Come and play with me," proposed the little prince. "I am so unhappy."

"I cannot play with you," the fox said. "I am not tamed."

"Ah! Please excuse me," said the little prince.

But, after some thought, he added:

"What does that mean--'tame'?"

"You do not live here," said the fox. "What is it that you are looking for?"

"I am looking for men," said the little prince. "What does that mean--'tame'?"

"Men," said the fox. "They have guns, and they hunt. It is very disturbing. They also raise chickens. These are their only interests. Are you looking for chickens?"

"No," said the little prince. "I am looking for friends. What does that mean--'tame'?"

"It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. It means to establish ties."

"'To establish ties'?"

"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world . . ."

"I am beginning to understand," said the little prince. "There is a flower . . . I think that she has tamed me . . ."

"It is possible," said the fox. "On the Earth one sees all sorts of things."

"Oh, but this is not on the Earth!" said the little prince.

The fox seemed perplexed, and very curious.

"On another planet?"

"Yes."

"Are there hunters on that planet?"

"No."

"Ah, that is interesting! Are there chickens?"

"No."

"Nothing is perfect," sighed the fox.

But he came back to his idea.

"My life is very monotonous," the fox said. "I hunt chickens; men hunt me. All the chickens are just alike, and all the men are just alike. And, in consequence, I am a little bored. But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat . . ."

The fox gazed at the little prince, for a long time.

"Please--tame me!" he said.

"I want to, very much," the little prince replied. "But I have not much time. I have friends to discover, and a great many things to understand."

"One only understands the things that one tames," said the fox. "Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. If you want a friend, tame me . . ."

"What must I do, to tame you?" asked the little prince.

"You must be very patient," replied the fox. "First you will sit down at a little distance from me--like that--in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day . . ."

The next day the little prince came back.

"It would have been better to come back at the same hour," said the fox. "If, for example, you come at four o'clock in the afternoon, then at three o'clock I shall begin to be happy. I shall feel happier and happier as the hour advances. At four o'clock, I shall already be worrying and jumping about. I shall show you how happy I am! But if you come at just any time, I shall never know at what hour my heart is to be ready to greet you . . . One must observe the proper rites . . ."

"What is a rite?" asked the little prince.

"Those also are actions too often neglected," said the fox. "They are what make one day different from other days, one hour from other hours. There is a rite, for example, among my hunters. Every Thursday they dance with the village girls. So Thursday is a wonderful day for me! I can take a walk as far as the vineyards. But if the hunters danced at just any time, every day would be like every other day, and I should never have any vacation at all."

So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near--

"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry."

"It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you . . ."

"Yes, that is so," said the fox.

"But now you are going to cry!" said the little prince.

"Yes, that is so," said the fox.

"Then it has done you no good at all!"

"It has done me good," said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields." And then he added:

"Go and look again at the roses. You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world. Then come back to say goodbye to me, and I will make you a present of a secret."

The little prince went away, to look again at the roses.

"You are not at all like my rose," he said. "As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend, and now he is unique in all the world."

And the roses were very much embarassed.

"You are beautiful, but you are empty," he went on. "One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or ever sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose.

And he went back to meet the fox.

"Goodbye," he said.

"Goodbye," said the fox. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."

"It is the time I have wasted for my rose--" said the little prince, so that he would be sure to remember.

"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose . . ."

"I am responsible for my rose," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

You are what you read

Books i am currently reading.

No idea why I am so into Harry Potter, just cant stop myself reading once start! The HP series are the most popular leisure reading for me!!

* * * * *

Jenny lent me this book, which she rated it high - Lady in Waiting.

The writer claimed it's suitable for all lady no matter you are single, dating w/someone, engaged or married. Yet I would say it is v. suitable for those who are desparate to get a mate! Not me at the moment (haha), so I found a bit bored reading it. um... still, I think it is worth to have one on bookshelf, I was moved by a few chapters (on devotion and sense of security), a good tool book.

* * * * *

I randomly picked up at bookstre and find it really interesting and worth to read! It was the best book on relationship I've ever read! highly highly recommended! Although the write said it's a book for lady who are dating, in a committed relationship or married, I find it's also a book for single lady, and even men should read it!

Well... some men really don't know what manhood is - don't know WHO he is, WHAT he does and HOW much he makes. If you, a man, find that you don't have dream, see no vision and could not implement your plan, it's a book for you!

我曾經說過Daisy是男的，而且是Philip。今天，終於找到人認同了！
http://wongleona.blogspot.com/2009/05/blog-post_16.html

無論Daisy是男是女，他的書永遠都是苦悶時的最好讀物！

《四代香港人》

用了兩小時，反覆閱讀呂大樂的《四代香港人》。當中描述的第四代（出生於1976-1990年） ，正正就是我這一代。

呂大樂開宗明義地說：「第四代，一開始便是輸家。」他指出，由於我們的父母輩（第二代：戰後嬰兒）身處於百廢待舉的時代，機會處處，稍有學歷，就能攀上社會高位。就算是學歷較低的一群，只有憑著努力與鬥心，大多有出人頭地的一天。他們高舉競爭主義，亦將此思想灌輸到下一代，亦即我這一輩身上。

反覆思考，這的確是我們的現況。

我們從小就知道這個社會的遊戲規則：學歷越高，前途就越光明。我們都在父母親栽培下的溫室產物，學業是最重要的，其次是「有用」的課餘活動，如琴棋書畫，但這些原用以塑造個性的活動，最終的目的亦是為了學業。

在這個大環境下，我們都被程式化：讀好書，考好公開試，最後進一所好的大學學府，向著所謂的「康莊大道」進發。而個性則是奢侈品，是需要被抑壓的。

在大學裡，這樣的例子多不勝數。

工商管理是各大院校中最受歡迎的科目，報讀的學生，有多少是受了父母的影響？（在金融海嘯的影響下，現在的準大學生都轉投向教育市場。可是，背後的動機亦是一樣的，工作穩定而且高薪。）在父母的眼中，彷彿除了工商管理以外，其他學科都一無是處。還記得當年我告訴父母，我選了新聞與傳播學院，他們第一個反應是：「讀新聞，你是想做記者嗎？聽說薪金很低，你考慮清楚了嗎？」又例如我一位修讀人類學的朋友，未畢業就不斷被問及將來可以做甚麼。

在第二代人的教育下，我們的目標明確而且單一，個性是奢侈品，是可以捨棄的。就是因為個性長期被抑壓，第四代人最容易出現自我迷失。

這代的大學畢業生，理應是最富競爭力、最有前途的一群。可是，這群被認為是明日之星的第四代進入社會後便發現，就算學歷再高，事業的路途也不是一帆風順，由於已晉身高級管理層的第二代仍然是香港的主流，他們佔據了大部分白領的勞動人口，加上「等上位」的第三代人（生於1966-1975）比比皆是。一直以為自己是天之驕子的第四代，頓時發現自己其實好渺小。他們慢慢發現，原來一直被認為是「最好」的道路，並不是自己「最想」行的。

很悲哀是嗎？

至於我，當我仍然年幼時，我已經知道讀書的重要，但同時我也明白到，學歷並非一切，也不可以此來斷定人的價值。在醫院裡看見人來人往，人生可以好短暫，大家從同一個地方來，最後又往同一地方去，不同的只是過程。所以，我要選擇屬於我自己的人生。

好想說，語文能力真的好重要。尤其是對於我們這一輩及九十後。可惜，現今學生的語文能力的確每況越下。其實差都不是問題，肯努力總會有改善，可是，問題是他們根本不覺得自己有問題，更認為傳統的實用文已經"OUT"，不合時宜！

不是想以長輩口吻說甚麼「一代不如一代」等的廢話，像我這些八字輩的，又何嘗不是被「三十世代」及戰後嬰兒批評得一文不值？大家身處的大環境不同，根本不能比較。你經濟過動盪，當然主張忍耐；他生活於繁榮盛世，當然高舉精英主義；我身處在這個世界，也理所當然地由被今日的主流價值支配。

扯得太遠了…

其實我是想說，九十後的那一群的語文能力，真的很駭人。寫的文章不單止中英夾雜、而且充滿口語，最離譜的是，「好」可以變成「巧」、鍾情的「鍾」變成「中」…

英文方面，也不見得很好，我想他們大概不知道"wanna"，"gonna"與"gotta"的意思是甚麼，所以會出現"wanna to", "i am gotta to", "i am gonna to"等組合…還有，這些都是口語化的英語，根本不應該出現在功課上。

語文能力真的好重要，不只是作家、傳媒才須要良好的語文能力。我想一個文員仔也須要出memo、小秘書也要寫minutes吧、設計師要寫brief、programmer，engineer等亦要懂得寫報告，有幸晉升為管理人員，也要寫企劃書等等吧。

我也年輕過（其實現在也很年輕），可是也明白書到用時方恨少。其實，要提升語文能力也不是太難，但的確需要很多時間，非一朝一夕可以改善。其中閱讀是良方，不要怕悶，你大可選擇你喜歡的書，愛情小說、科幻小說、散文、漫畫甚至雜誌（那當然不能是口語化的雜誌）。我中學時可看了很多衛斯理小說，也愛看Harry Potter，最愛的是也斯的遊記。不是所有書都像「家、春、秋」等悶死人。

喜歡上網的大可瀏覽blog，不少blog都卧虎藏龍（你見連蘋果都有「博客行」就知道，am730的專欄也很好看。）甚至，你大可當自己的xanga, blog是你的書寫練習場，嘗試用書面語寫日記。

英文方面，覺得英文書悶就聽英文歌，也可看外國的連續戲或節目。看字幕的同時，也聽聽他們說甚麼。CSI、Desparate Housewives、BJ等都比無線的劇集好看吧。

這一切，雖然沒有即時的果效，但語文能力的確是需要時間積累的。

請各位年輕人，請努力！

為何突然說出這番語重深長的說話？當你改了60篇中文及80篇英文作文時，你就會知道。

和媽媽一起度過的900天旅行

「媽，想不想去看看外面的世界？」

漫長的旅程，就由母親一句「好的」開始。

74歲的兒子，為了完成99歲高齡的母親旅遊的心願，由黑龍江省的塔河，走到海南，再折返家鄉。整個旅程用了900天，而交通工具，竟然只是一輛經人手改裝的三輪車！真令人難以想像！這會是一個怎樣的旅程呢？

書中最感動我的，是這一段…

「很多人都說我的決定過於輕率，可是我認為，只有越過輕率才能獲得更大的幸福，我願意相信在那輕率的背後一定會有無法估計的快樂，只要是為了母親，哪怕是走到天涯海角，我都不會動搖。」

看畢書本，我與媽媽分享這個故事，卻換來一句：「我覺得這個兒子真不孝耶，要近百歲的母親舟車勞頓！」